American legislators have a sense of humor. This is evident in their need to outlaw some of the most enjoyable vices known to man: marijuana, backwoods moonshine distilleries, and artificial vaginas.
Wait…fake pussy is illegal?
Well, not nationwide – but you could catch a felony in Texas under certain circumstances. True story.
(a) In this subchapter:
(1) “Obscene” means material or a performance that:
(A) the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that taken as a whole appeals to the prurient interest in sex;
During this legislative session, one can only imagine how hard it was to keep from laughing erratically. According to Texas law, here is what is considered “obscene”:
(7) “Obscene device” means a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
And, in Texas, it is not how you possess an artificial
(a) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device.
(b) An offense under Subsection (a) is a state jail felony.
(c) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he:
(1) promotes or possesses with intent to promote any obscene material or obscene device; or
(2) produces, presents, or directs an obscene performance or participates in a portion thereof that is obscene or that contributes to its obscenity.
(d) An offense under Subsection (c) is a Class A misdemeanor.
Imagine calling the wife en route to your kids’ soccer game to tell her you